Work haiku, II

take this job, oh yes
shove it deep deep down, oh yes
far as it will go

Thanks again to my buddy and budding haiku poet.

Work haiku

Communication
passive aggressive and rude
when not just grunting.

Thanks to my buddy and once-colleague for writing this. 

Worst boss ever, Exhibit H

I can’t believe the exhibits keep coming.

Exhibit H: splutters and raves because he thinks you were in meetings that you were never invited to.

Brouhaha. I simply asked him which meetings these were, but he could give no detail. It got escalated to his boss, who told me that meetings in the past are in the past. Forget them. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get minutes so I can 1) prove beyond a shadow of a doubt I wasn’t there and 2) find out WTF I missed, since clearly my boss thinks I hold key information that I do not.

If I get to exhibit, please shoot me.

Blacklisting puffy and fluffy

Look, “puffy” and “fluffy” are not terms appropriate to a scientific discovery.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060914/ap_on_sc/puffy_planet_1

Astronomers find distant, fluffy planet

Sorry. That doesn’t fly. Neither does the line “along with a second, smaller distant world that’s also puffier than theories would have predicted.”  Puffier than theories predicted?  Never the twain shall meet!
Are verbal standards really so low now that we have to say “puffy” and “fluffy” instead of “less dense” or perhaps even “lighter weight”. Of course, maybe then we’d have to talk about mass versus weight, and that just won’t do.

Is this choice of words so that people who ordinarily would have ignored the discovery of a new planet would take note, perhaps thinking some new fad in planets has made Jupiter the new Earth?  It’s totally orange and pink.  And have you checked out that storm?  So dramatic.  I wouldn’t wear that storm during the day, but it’s ok because planets only come out at night… like, right?

Come on, guys. Planets don’t resemble pink fuzzy accessories. They are not named “Fifi”. They are not puffy and fluffy. Ever.

Release a virus to kill pesty fish?

Bad idea jeans.  Scientists in Australia are thinking of killing pest koi in their rivers by releasing a virus. Haven’t they learned by seeing how introduced species — like the rabbit, the cane toad, and now the carp — is a BAD idea with serious repercussions?  Have they not watched ANY sci-fi movies??  Jurassic Park, Terminator(s), Resident Evil.  Dudes, science goes wrong.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060910/sc_space/scientistsponderreleasingvirustokillcarp

Bad, bad, bad.

Don’t do it, Aussies!  Just let it be open season for the koi, and let hundreds if not thousands of people harvest and sell these koi, which are currently experiencing some sort of fashion with the lawn and garden crowd.  And for the love of Mike, go watch a sci-fi movie or two.  They’ll tell you all you need to know about science gone bad and taking over the world, killing all humanity and ushering in End Times.  Let Bush take care of that part.  He’s da debbil anyway.