Freedom is synonymous with SUV?

Unbelievable.  W actually said about Iraq, “Leaving before we complete our mission would create a terrorist state in the heart of the Middle East, a country with huge oil reserves that the terrorist network would be willing to use to extract economic pain from those of us who believe in freedom”?

What mission?  Saddam, gone.  WMD, lie exposed.  Oil?  Oh, right the oil’s still there and we don’t own it yet.   So I guess those of us who believe in freedom must obviously drive cars with huge tanks and dualies, since those would be the ones feeling the economic pain from high gas prices.
Here’s a hint:  drive less.  Drive smaller vehicles. Drive more efficient vehicles.  Or hey, support alternative fuel research?  Hmm.  Maybe all the money we put into the war “on terror” in Iraq might, ya know, be used for some scientist to discover a way we can all use solar, wind, or something we haven’t even thought of yet, affordably.  Imagine that!  Not having to pay for utilities.  Aw, Bushie’s buddies in the oil fields would be out of business.  Now that is “terror”ble.

Yes, I ride a bike.  But I also paid fifty bucks yesterday to fill up my truck.  And you know what?  I only drive the truck when I have to haul something big. Since I’m constantly doing construction projects, I PLAN AHEAD and make sure to maximize my trips.  Comes out to once a week or every 2 weeks, even when someone borrows the truck.  Other trips, especially groceries, go by car, and smaller trips by bike.  If I’m getting grocerties that don’t include refilling my water gallons, I definitely do a bike.  Even ice cream and milk.

Should Americans be free to buy the biggest cars they want? Unfortunately for the environment and our children, yes.  Fortunately for freedoms we uphold, yes.  Should we go to war to make it easier to pay for your huge beast of a car?  No way.  It’s not worth lives.  If you want to exercise your freedom to buy a huge guzzling car, be prepared to pay for that luxury.  If you have lots of children that require you to use a large car, sorry.  It’s all part of the price of having kids.  Just like diapers, baby-sitters, and food.  It’s what we sign on for during orgasm.  Deal.

What is the friggin point?  1) I believe in freedom, and it’s not synonymous with lower oil prices.  2) The war in Iraq is clearly a huge ruse, and clearly about oil as it has been all along.  3) Our president is a fucktard and has lied to us repeatedly.  4) It’s a rant.  It doesn’t have to have a point.

I scorn you back

You* scorn bicyclists?  Well I scorn you right back, oh sucker of resources.  Remember that South Park where everyone got “Pious” cars?  Yeah, that’s me on my bike.  I don’t use oil.  I don’t pay the fat-cat industries that profit from oil and, oh yeah, any wars that may be taking place in oil-rich areas.  wink
I just put my life into the hands of 16-year-old who barely remember to stop at lights, much less how to deal with smaller vehicles “suddenly” in their lane because for the last mile they were hunting around for the perfect CD to be the soundtrack to their mad late-for-my-summer-job ride.  That’s all.

What do I get out of it?  An adrenaline rush every time I bike to get some groceries, exercise, and a sense of self-righteousness that you can only get from green activities or political office.

Oh, and as for your revenge you’re plotting even now, I’ll probably survive most accidents, and you’ll be paying for me to learn how to use my new wheels and watching as I park in the super-close spaces right by the front door of every business.   And I’ll still feel self-righteous.  You’ll still be angry.  Only now, you’ll have less money to do anything about it, and you’ll have your very own stigma for the rest of your life.  Same goes for itf I don’t survive, only add to everything some jail time for manslaughter.  How do you like those apples, crippler?

*”You” being the motorists whom I’ve encountered in my bike rides, per the previous post.

Bicycle stigmas

I’m sure in other areas of this country and in other countries altogether biking is considered a perfectly viable mode of transportation. In my neck of the woods, not so much.

Here, bikes are not only misunderstood, they’re downright scorned. If you ride down the street on your own power, you’re looked at as either too poor to be considered human or just the crazy/stupid combo that gets dirty or piteous looks.

So consequently, cars not only don’t know how to deal with bikes (hint: they’re vehicles just like cars are), they become rather hostile, gun their engines, and pass regardless of oncoming traffic or lane restrictions. It’s a lot of fun for everyone. I take it as a sure sign that these guys will not ever take the brain cells to wonder whether there are rules of the road for bikes.

There are people. Just keep your freaking eyes open and watch for those little two-wheeled cars that look so vulnerable. I swear we won’t take up your road space much, and we certainly won’t be using any of your gas and oil that is becoming so

Polite drivers? No way.

What is this new thing? The slow driver in front of me pulls over onto the shoulder and waves me around. And then so does the guy in front of him. At a stop sign, everyone looks around, smiling, and waits patiently for me to make the first move. They all laugh as we figure it out. The checkers at the supermarket smile and actually make eye contact as they hand me my receipt, after first commenting on the lovely weather (it is) and how they hope I’m having a good day (I am).

What is this strange place!? Evidently, all the hostility and frustration that forms smog clouds over cities evaporates up into the cloudless sky here. That weirds me out, man. Even the waitresses are polite and really mean for me to take my time ordering, and don’t mind the 5th or 6th refill. They bring it before I ask. And that’s just the crappy eating places. This ain’t no four-star.

What next? Some guy will tell me I left my lights on in the parking lot? Yep. They called around and matched up the bumperstickers to the car make and tracked me down.

I knew country folk were nice, but man. Even the drivers? That’s like finding out your mom is a robot. Has some ups, but mainly is just creepy and disconcerting. Sorta mainly. I mean, you could overlook the mom-robot creepiness in light of the upshot of reprogramming and hibernate button, but nice drivers? There’s no getting over that creepiness.

The car zipper explained

Look, I’ll keep it to one single beef in a vast pasture of irksome driving habits for now: the zipper. The whole way it works without clogging the roads for miles and miles is for you to let one car in front of you. Then the guy* behind you does the same and on down the line. It’s simple, predictable, and sometimes even beautiful. But let one guy become selfish and do that nose-to-tail maneuver and it’s all over. Traffic backs up and hell breaketh loose.The basic problem is selfishness. One prick thinking he’s got some reason more important than yours to get wherever he’s going that two seconds faster can gridlock the whole system. Because he’s not alone, man. Those jerks run in packs like the mighty bison. I’d like to hunt those guys from train windows.

So schmucks, listen up. All I’m asking is for you to let one car in front of you. That’s it. And don’t friggin consider it a sign of weakness from another driver when he does the same. It’s not even a good deed I’m asking you to do. It’s the way driving works. Period.

I won’t even get started about the twits who drive on the shoulder to get up to the top of the zipper sooner. Look, if you less-offensive-only-by-comparison scmucks want to feel like you’re protecting your spot in line and not let someone in, let it be that guy driving up the shoulder. He deserves to wait at the back of the line, just for the plain audacity at thinking he can somehow be absolved of the system.
-Rhapsody

*yeah, I’m using all masculine terms and pronouns. I’m being general, though. I’ve met plenty of she-pricks, too. They’re probably worse, really, since they can be vindictive as well as just rude.